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Banter

The Best Covering Letter Ever

So I posted a job on one of these outsourcing job sites for an article writer.  I got back many applications as you’d expect.  Some rubbish, some worthy of further conversations.  And then there was this one which has never made me laugh so much.  Some commendable overuse of a thesaurus:

“The proem interpretation of this scripture of getting into M/s. oDesk (Article Writing)  is my  resolute seriousness and sincere  desire and determination to accomplish myself and prove my mettle of skill writing, avoiding exaggeration, metaphor, or embellishment, but factual; prosaic handling and successful implementation  with executive ability or any works or business, a present day IT person  can do to escalate appropriate compliance’s, and acquiescence etc., And I will be prepared to accept any challenge and do one’s  best as stand alone or a team worker with rigidity and exercising degree of determination providing productive materials to my provider  for the  positions which I have earned during my fifty four years of active home and abroad services”.

Needless to say this person didn’t get hired, but worthy of note for being so damn hilarious!

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Current Affairs

Defending Your Home Should be a Human Right

This bloody nonsense in the British legal system that leaves it to lawyers and judges to decide whether you have used “reasonable force” to fend off burglars who have entered your home illegally really gets my blood boiling.

Ever since the Tony Martin case in 1999, this debate has raged on but hardly any measurable change has come into force despite overwhelming public support for clarity, sanity and fairness.  And some people say the UK is democratic?  This topic is one area of life where totalitarian regimes probably get it right.  If someone enters your home with an intention to cause harm to you, your family or even your property, then you have every right to defend yourself using whatever force you decide.

In my book, any invading burglar has given up any claim to the relevant sections of their human rights by abusing my family and my human rights to privacy and feeling safe in our own home.  Any civilised law that puts the rights of an invading party over the rights of the defending party is ridiculous and as citizens, we should oppose this interpretation of our law completely and without equivocation.

Hearing on the radio this evening that a middle-aged man in London was jailed for 18 months sometime this decade because he was judged to have used disproportionate force on one of two men who had broken into his house while he was in it, annoyed the hell out of me.  Then I learned more as he spoke that made me get more and more mad:

  • The two men were armed with knives and crowbars
  • His wife gave birth to their first son 2 days prior
  • Both his wife and 2-year old baby were at home
  • The man used no weapons in defending his home despite being slashed by one of the knife-wielding burglars during a struggle

This is 2011.  This is Britain.  This is a country that claims moral superiority in the world for its highly regarded domestic laws and civil communities.  Then how can such a ridiculous verdict be given here?  One of the armed men was put in a wheelchair for life by this new dad – that was the primary reason behind the verdict given to imprison him.  I say the burglar got away lightly.  This dad missed the first one and a half years of his son’s life, wasn’t able to hold him, play with him – because two idiots decided to help themselves to his property, and putting his family in potential harms way at the same time.

There is no no situation where you should be considering the safety of your attackers ahead of the safety of your family.   I hope Cameron’s latest attempts to bring this issue back to the forefront of political and public debate ensures that common sense and common decency prevails.

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Banter

And its up…

Getting this up and running has taken a while.  I wanted to write about so much stuff but not always have it linked back to me.

Many different names were tried, but in the end I thought “Life is Cheese” was suitably vague and strange, yet somehow quite cool at the same time.  I couldn’t believe the Twitter handle @LifeIsCheese was already taken though!  I mean who would choose a name like that?